Wake up call.

Damn. 2008. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. And damn, my little games really do need to stop. 2007 was filled with games. Every single time. I honestly thought I could handle my shit, but hey, the game ended up playing me. All those times people told me, "No more games," I still continued to do it. In return, I got a fuckin' dose of reality. I guess that's where my stubborn-ness comes in. I'm hella hard-headed, and I don't listen. That leads to how I don't appreciate what I have, til it's not there anymore. I guess I was so used to everyone spoiling me that I always wanted everything my way.. and when I didn't get my way, all hell broke loose. I look back and realize how stupid I was. I didn't handle any situation in the right manner. From friendships to relationsips, it had to be my way or no way. It was so hard to cooperate with me because I was so fricken' selfish, and I was so stubborn that I never wanted to compromise. I guess all of this tells everyone that I'm insecure, and that's why I doubt people all the time. That's why I always shut people out of my life, and just leave it to that.

But this year is gonna be totally different. I mean it this time when I say "no more games". Honestly, I hate the way I was.. Thus, I'm gonna get my priorities straight. No more of being so damn stubborn, and no more wanting every thing my way. More cooperation and compromise, rather than "no way or my way". I need to start being more appreciative of what I have, instead of always thinking about what I don't.

Speaking of priorities.. I really need to start concentrating on school. I've been so damn lazy these past couple of weeks. I barely do any work anymore. That's where I'm fuckin up. I seriously think I'm gonna cut down on going out. No more doing stupid shit either. Really. It's getting me fucked up and caught up. I think my mom looks at me different now too. Always coming home drunk, or not even coming home sometimes. I guess that shit has to go too.

So pretty much, this year I'm gonna try to fix a lot of things. No more games and no more stupid shit. It'll be different this year. I'm not saying I'm gonna stop having all that fun, but I do really need to change the shit that I've been doing.



"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." -Oprah.